Dear Amazon.com,

Hi, I'm Paul: Long-time fan, first time complainer. First of all, I want you to understand that I know shipping is getting more expensive, and that it's cutting into your profit margins. Especially, I am sure, as concerns your long-standing offer of free Super Saver Shipping. But a nag?!?

Original image via The New York Times.

I just ordered two books from you, with Super Saver Shipping, and I now see on my account that they're (a) in stock, and (b) not going to depart from Amazon for ten business days. What else could this be? It didn't used to take ten business days to ship my purchases to me!

Again, in sympathy, there are way better ways to handle this. For example, why not just charge me a dollar a book for Super Saver Shipping? Then I could get my books on time, your profits could equalize, and we could both be happy? As it stands, neither of us are. At least you could have the decency to just tell me that part of the new Super Saver deal is a shareware-esque nag. I might have just upgraded my shipping plan if I knew what I was in for. As it stands, I'm just cranky.

Gripingly,
Paul

Dear Apple,

Thanks for iTunes. And thanks also for the handy automatic software updater. It is both wicked chromed-out and also it gets the job done. Finally, thanks for keeping iTunes so up-to-date. Every month or so, sure as sugar, there's something that needs to be fixed or improved, and without fail, you do it. So thanks for all that.

But listen: Quit recreating my iTunes and Quicktime Start Menu items. I move them on purpose.

How hard can it be?

With admiration and irritation,
Fondly,
Paul